boo. boo!

Happy Halloween!

I really like pumpkins and Hazel does too! Apparently.

a little prayer.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
--The serenity prayer

I have read this quote twice this week; I think it’s a great quote for this week. Since, I am going through a lot with work, school, and friendships. Although I read this quote and understand it, I still see myself slipping and sometimes not accepting things at work. So, I’ll be working on that next week, along with finding the courage to change some things I know I can.

The extended version of the prayer

God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

ps.
I haven’t done a 365 ways to start your day positive so I wanted to get back into the groove of things. When this book is finished, I think I want to start my own. With the positive and silly thoughts that are on my mind daily.

the good in everything.

CAUTION: What you are about to read is extremely goofy. I am extremely goofy.

So, here I am in my apartment, in lovely Bridgeport.
I’m painting my nails (red), listening to Mumford and Sons (yes, on repeat, for the 100th time today), and drinking my mint tea. Well, if you know me. Well, you know that I’m not just doing those three things. And, yes, I smudged my freshly painted nails. I then started to stare, I am usually the one to try and find the good in every “mistake”. I actually find mistakes beautiful and my mind begins to think of something “new” that it could be. I do this with cutting hair. I do this with doodling. I do this with designing. Okay, so, I do this with everything. And then, there it was a sea horse! The smudged formed what I believe is a sea horse. I am happy with this beautiful mistake.

Ps. I love sea horses.

this is why I blog.

I stumbled upon Claire Marie’s wonderful blog, ‘Mamushka Marie’ today. And came across a post on “Why we blog”. I just want to keep going on about what ‘inspires’ me—haha. So, here I am, INSPIRED.

Claire Marie

She says
When I first traversed into the world of blogging, I really didn't know what I was in for, nor did I have a clue where to start. Not long ago, I was the girl, alone in her apartment, scouring the pages of your blogs for hours, gleaning, soaking in the inspiration that you and everyone else seemed to have so much of. I could sit there for days, sipping tea and melting over photos of Bridgette Bardot, Jeanne Moreau and the like. Although I felt (and I confess, even now sometimes feel) anything I would do would be second string to the brilliance before me, I thought, what the hell, it's now or never, and Mamushka Marie was born. I feel like I'm still in the critical preliminary stages, where if I wanted, I could through in the towel, nothing gained? nothing lost? Although I'm loving the great big blogosphere from where I sit, part of me still feels a bit amiss. In the sea of blogs, the pages and pages of outfits and ensembles, whats one more blog, what is it that sets us apart? Why do we blog? I guess for me it all started when things changed. I changed and life changed. Not too long ago, I was a California girl with a head full of dreams, a cat, a pretty decent job and an amazing home. The stress on amazing. We (my boyfriend and a set of close friends) rented an old craftsman house in the heart of Hillcrest San Diego CA. Surrounded by like minded friends and acquaintances, I felt like I was on my way...somewhere. One day however, everything changed. My wants and desires became more simple and I started to flirt with the idea of moving back home (to Wisconsin). Never before would the thought have crossed my mind. I mean Hey - I had it all, sort of. In order for my new found dream to come to fruition, a pit stop was to be made, in Texas. We moved here the summer of 2008, and what was meant to be a couple month stint in the lone star state has turned into a year plus. When we first arrived, culture shock hit me like a ton of bricks. I went from corner stores and coffee shops a walk down the way, boutiques and art galleries at my beck and call to concrete and suburban sprawl. I went from farmers markets and flower shops, the ocean breeze and architecture to Albertson's and Wal-mart, to TJ Maxx, and Dollar General. I wanted to leave the moment we arrived.If I hadn't learned this lesson before hand, (the grass isn't always greener one) I was sure to learn it this time, and a year later, I think its safe to say I have. That rug of constant indecisiveness always being pulled out from underneath me, I have put myfoot down once and for all and just let life happen. I've been afraid a lot of my life, afraid to put it all out there, to let myself just, be myself. And perhaps I was hiding in California, in my cozy little nook where nothing really went wrong but nothing really went anywhere. I rocked the boat this time, said goodbye to childhood fantasies and fears and saw that reality was a whole lot more inspiring and beautiful once I simply let it happen.Starting this blog was a way for me to reach out to that great big world that I used to be too afraid to touch. I could have stayed the fly on the wall, stood at a distance and watched the scenes play out before me, or I could take center stage, no matter how frightening it was, and read my lines, the ones I've written and memorized.This is why I blog. I blog because it's a way for me to connect to the world, in a place where some days I feel very alone. I blog because it's an exercise in boldness and the more I do it, the better it gets. I blog because I can and because just wearing the clothes is not enough.


Yes, I could just direct you to her page (which I will anyway). But, I wanted these wonderful words on my page too! So, shortly after I read this post, I started cleaning, which led me to finally organizing my little studio space. I am beyond excited about this. I now have a space to get out my sewing machine, draw, paint, and explore my creativity. For far too long I have had all my crafting things boxed up. Which led me to start thinking about “why I blog”. I blog because I love the internet. I blog because I’m a very visual person. I blog because I want to find more people/friends like me. I blog because I want to remember things. I blog because I want my daughter or son to look back at the archives and really understand their mom. I blog because I want to see myself evolve as a person. I blog because.. Well, the list could go on forever. So, reading that post made me sit back and think. Am I going to be the person who sits back and watches things pass me by? Or am I going to be the one creating, the one doing, and the one inspiring others? I know that I have a lot to work on and I know not every day will be a ‘good’ blogging day. Now, I think I’m just rambling and I have the urge to go on a huge tangent (because I love tangents)—I went to church last Sunday and the pastor said “We’re not a church that has it all figured out…” and it went on.. but to keep this tangent short. That statement really stuck in my head. I’m not someone who has it all figured out. I’m just someone with a need to give this blog a real ‘go’. So, here goes nothin'.

That tangent led me to the point. Thank you tangent!

Love, Angella

PS. Dilyana, I know I am taking up a majority of the sun room. I will make this up to you! I will do your hair/makeup anytime you want, with no complaints. Also, feel free to get crafty too my lady!

all words in green are written by Claire Marie.
her blog-http://mamushkamarie.blogspot.com/

the details.

I am all about inspiration. I love getting inspired by almost everything. People, the smell of coffee, love, goodness, fall, blank pages, routines, the list will go on. But, you know what really inspires me? Interviews. I love hearing/reading what people have to say. I love learning what inspires others. I love the little things that make people unique. I love seeing what others ‘notice’ in this world. I love a lot of things immensely. It’s sometimes too much, I think.

Can you tell us a little bit about working and living with Fab?"

It's amazing to be able to work and play music whenever one of us is inspired, but that's also sometimes a curse. When you're at a studio or have a rehearsal space that you go to, there's usually some sort of curfew, but when you live and work with your boyfriend/band mate (and have well-insulated walls), our only cut-off is when someone decides to be a bummer and call it a night. I'm kind of weird in the way of the clock; There's a mother in me that sees it getting too late and feels like we're gonna turn into blueberries or something if we're not in bed by a decent hour. It's become a ritual for us to pick up two or three bottles of wine and work on music till the last drop, then go to bed, but recently Fab came home with a case of wine, and when he walked through the door with it, I was like, 'Jeez, are we gonna finish the record tonight?'"

Who are your style heroes?

"Hmmm... I think the only person in my life I could really call a style 'hero' would be Madonna. Growing up, I was utterly mesmerized by everything about her: the way she moved, the way she dressed, her power and sexuality... she always crossed the line just perfectly. For me, her style and originality are still completely unrivaled. Back when we were little, my sister and I had a tape with all her '80s music videos and we would put it on every day after school and just study her. Everything she wore always seemed so effortlessly fashionable. I remember that in the video for Borderline, she wore these bright orange heels with lime green socks that were so insane. I don't know what it was about that combination that enthralled me so much, but it's one of those magical little weird things that has stayed with me to this day. I remember being at a toy store when I was about 5 or 6 and finally finding that flaming orange pair of heels that I'd looked for for ages! Unfortunately, they were Barbie-sized, but I held onto those tiny shoes even after I got rid of my Barbies."

Photos and Interview--refinery29.com

be.

just be. live. thats all.

I dont remember the source of this picture. If you want credit! Please, let me know! :-]

thrown together.

At home in Lansing. I cant stay away from the computer for too long so I hopped on the “home” computer. I was never really allowed on this computer, so, I am very surprised that I have so many photos saved. It’s been over five months since I’ve been on this computer. And I find it interesting, the things/people/places that inspired me back then, are yes.. Still very inspiring. But, I still can see a difference from today. Its interesting to see how much I’ve grown (or how much I think I have, anyway).

I’ll leave you with this., A “spit up” like post of images, thrown together with a click of a button! UPLOAD!

p.s.

I just noticed a WHOLE week as FLOWN by! Whoa, very scary thought.

p.s. again...

where are you?

no judgment.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

How many times do we back down because of fear? People daily are faced with making big life decisions. The book tells a story about ‘a very big life decision’. He had already made his decision, committed to it, and committed to many other people as well—all that was left was “to dot his I’s and cross his T’s.” The change he was challenging himself to make wasn’t one done on a whim. He had spent many months preparing and talking with others to make sure it was for the best. Yet the final steps to make this change would require him to come face-to-face with a deep-rooted fear he had since childhood. In the end he ended up baking down. I know I have had the same kind of decisions to make. I know I have also backed down when I looked fear in the eye. It goes on to say (I truly believe this) No one.. NO ONE can pass judgment on anyone, for each of us has to fight our own battles, and we can only truly understand the battles when we are in the shoes of the battler. I know judgment is something that comes naturally. I also have been completely 'trying' to cut judgment out of my life completely.

It goes on to say what became abundantly clear that many people have the struggle: seeking the truth, finding it, and then letting fear take it away. Is that right or wrong? It’s up to you. If we do not change, we will not get different results than we already have.

We can only overcome fear when we embrace it.

Acknowledge we are scared and terrified, but we should look from all angles, make the best decision we can, and then take a deep breath and go forward.

Fear is a calling to grow.

each day is a gift

Oh Monday. I am late! I know you understand so.. here goes nothin'

Always a favorite to listen to Sigur Ros. <3.

"Its a new day" know that each day is a gift.

What would you do in a space like this? I like Triangles.

A book.. comes to life.

and

Becky Phillip. She is lovely. I don't know her. Yet, she still continues to inspire me.

What inspires you? I want to know.